Author Archives: nlunsford

There is Plenty for Everyone

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One time a fellow from the city was driving through the countryside.  When he saw three boys sitting on a porch, he stopped to ask directions.

He noticed that one of the boys was rolling a large watermelon back and forth with his toe.  Intending to amuse himself at their expense, he said, “I will give ten dollars to the fellow who can eat that whole watermelon.”

One boy said, “ I’d like to try.  Will you wait here for a few minutes?”

The city fellow said, “Sure.”

The boy went around behind the house for a few minutes and returned.  “I’m ready now.” he said, and ate the whole melon.

The city fellow was stunned as he gave up his ten dollars.  He asked, “I have to know, what did you do while you were gone?”

The boy told him, “I wasn’t sure I could eat it, and since we have another one out back about that same size, I went to eat it, to see if I could.” Continue reading →

It Was Lost in Translation

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It Was Lost in Translation

 

This post is part of a “chain blog” on the topic of “one another.” You’ll find more information about “chain blogs” at the bottom of this post along with links to other link posts in this chain blog.

A guy told me he was reading his wife’s Bible and found this verse, “And God opened Adam’s head and removed his brain and created woman.”  But he said it was probably a spurious translation. Continue reading →

Tell me about yourself

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A lawyer boarded an airplane and sat down next to an attractive blonde woman.  After the plane took off, he decided to have some fun.

He said to her, “Let’s play a game to pass the time.”

She said, “I’m tired.  I just want to sleep.”

He said, “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

She said, “I’m tired.”

He kept at it until she said, “If I let you tell me the game, will you let me sleep?”

He says, “I know you’ll like it.  Here’s the game.  I will ask you a question.  If you don’t know the answer, you’ll give me five dollars.  Then you ask me a question.  If I don’t know the answer, I’ll give you fifty dollars.  OK?”

She agrees and he asks her, “What is the distance to the moon?”

Without speaking, she reaches in her purse and gives the lawyer five dollars.

Then she asks him, “What has three legs and four feet?”

He can’t figure it out so he searches the internet and finds nothing.  Next he calls all his smart friends, still nothing.  Finally he gives up and gives her fifty dollars.  She takes the money and starts to take a nap.

Frustrated he says, “So what has three legs and four feet?”

Without speaking, she reaches in her purse and gives the lawyer five dollars and goes back to sleep. Continue reading →

Help files

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When it comes to Bible study, we can get a lot of help from various Bible study tools.  Except for Bibles, these tools are not generally considered inspired, but they are widely accepted as reliable.  Because they deal with God’s book, I’d expect Him to have an interest in how they turn out.  In any case, take advantage of any of them that work for you. Continue reading →

Primary and Secondary

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A man complained that his wife was hard of hearing and she always argued with him about it.  So one day he decided to prove her wrong.  He stood across the room behind her so she wouldn’t know he was there.  He said, “Honey, can I ask you a question?”  No answer.  He stepped closer and asked again, “Honey, can I ask you a question?”  Still no answer.  Continue reading →

We can be weaned from the milk bottle and start eating our own food

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Scripture says, concerning the Bible, we can be weaned from the milk bottle and start eating our own food.

The milk of the scripture is what we are taught by others and solid food is what we learn for ourselves.  Milk (a picture of being taught) is a predigested, pleasant tasting liquid, giving balanced nutrition.  Solid food (a picture of teaching oneself) needs digesting, is not necessarily balanced nutrition, may not be pleasant tasting, is not liquid, and it may need chewing.  When we understand what we read in the Bible, it means we are chewing and digesting our own food and no longer need to be bottle-fed.  Continue reading →